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This booklet aims to assist you understand more about self-harm and what to do if you are worried about yourself or someone else. It explains what cocky-damage is, what to do if you or someone you lot know is self-harming, and how to go assist.

All of the information here is based on the findings of the National Enquiry into Cocky-harm among young people. The Inquiry was carried out by ii charities, The Mental Health Foundation and The Camelot Foundation.

The Inquiry console heard testify from many hundreds of people including young people who self-harm, or have self-harmed in the past, and those who work with or care about them. This booklet is based on what they said. For more information almost the National Inquiry, and a full list of contributors, meet the Truth Hurts study.

We realise that this does not cover the whole area of self-harm, as it is based on a report that focusses on cocky-harm among young people. For more information on this topic, visit our A-Z folio.

Introduction

Cocky-impairment is very common and affects more people than you might think.

10% of young people self-impairment [1]

This means it's likely that at least two young people in every secondary schoolhouse classroom have self-harmed at some time. [ii] If you are self-harming, you are non solitary – lots of data and support is available.

Recall, self-impairment isn't a suicide attempt or a cry for attending. However, it tin can be a way for some people to cope with overwhelming and pitiful thoughts or feelings. Self-damage should be taken seriously, whatever the reason backside it.

It is possible to live without cocky-damage. It is important to know that you lot won't always feel the mode y'all do now.

With the right help and support most people who cocky-impairment can and do fully recover.

What is self-harm?

Self-harm describes whatsoever behaviour where someone causes harm to themselves, usually every bit a way to help cope with difficult or distressing thoughts and feelings [3]. It most oft takes the grade of cutting, burning or non-lethal overdoses. However, it tin also exist any behaviour that causes injury - no matter how minor, or high-hazard behaviours [four].

Basically, whatsoever behaviour that that causes harm or injury to someone as a way to bargain with hard emotions can be seen every bit self-harm.

The self-harm wheel

Cocky-harm usually starts as a way to relieve the build-up of pressure from deplorable thoughts and feelings. This might give temporary relief from the emotional pain the person is feeling. Information technology'southward important to know that this relief is but temporary because the underlying reasons still remain. Soon after, feelings of guilt and shame might follow, which can keep the cycle. [5]

The self-harm cycle

Considering there may exist some temporary relief at the start, cocky-harm can become someone's normal fashion of dealing with life's difficulties. This means that information technology is important to talk to someone as early on as possible to get the correct support and help. Learning new coping strategies to bargain with these difficulties can make information technology easier to break the wheel of cocky-impairment in the long term.

Who does it?

There is no such thing as a typical young person who self-harms. Self-harm is something that can affect anyone. It's believed that effectually 10% of young people self-harm [6], but it could be as high as twenty% [seven]. If you self-harm, there are a lot of people who also know what you're going through.

Most young people reported that they started to hurt themselves effectually the age of 12. [viii]

While it is true that anyone can exist affected past self-damage, some people are more than probable to self-harm than others because of things that have happened in their lives - where they alive, things that are happening with friends, family or at school, or a combination of these. This means that some people are more at risk of self-harm than others. Some factors that might make someone more at risk are:

Feel of a mental health disorder. This might include depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and eating disorders. [9, 10]
Being a young person who is not under the care of their parents, or young people who take left a intendance home. [11]
Being part of the LGBT community. [12]
Having been bereaved by suicide. [thirteen]

Information technology is important to remember that although these are risk factors that can make someone more likely to cocky-harm, having any of these does not mean someone volition self-harm. Similarly, someone who self-harms might not experience any of these. Anyone can exist affected.

Why practice people self-harm?

Everyone has different things that cause stress and worry them. Some people tin manage these troubles by talking to friends and family, while others may detect these difficulties overwhelming. When we don't express our emotions and talk almost the things that brand usa distressed, angry or upset, the pressure can build upwardly and go unbearable. Some people turn this in on themselves and utilise their bodies as a style to express the thoughts and feelings they can't say aloud. People often harm themselves when this all gets likewise much. If you cocky-harm, y'all might detect that when you lot feel aroused, distressed, worried or depressed, yous experience the urge to hurt yourself even more than.

Someone'south reason to self-harm tin can be very unlike from other people who self-impairment. Some of the reasons that young people written report as triggers or reasons that lead them to self-damage include [xiv]:

difficulties at dwelling house
arguments or problems with friends
school pressures
bullying
low
anxiety
low self-esteem
transitions and changes, such as changing schools
booze and drug use.

When a few of these issues come together they can speedily feel overwhelming and go likewise much for one person to bargain with. Equally one young person said, many people self-harm to "become out the hurt, anger and pain" caused by pressures in their lives. They hurt themselves because they didn't know what else to do and didn't feel like they had any other options. Talking to someone you trust or a healthcare professional person tin assist you lot find other options for coping with the emotional pain y'all are feeling.

If you are experiencing difficult issues in your life, there is support available. Please see the 'Where tin can I go farther help and information?' section of this booklet.

Breaking Down The Myths

There are lots of myths attached to self-harm. This isn't surprising – myths and misunderstandings ofttimes ascend when a trouble like cocky-harm is poorly understood. Negative stereotypes tin be powerful. They need to be challenged considering they stop people talking about their issues and asking for help. These myths likewise mean that professionals, family and friends can misunderstand people who self-impairment.

MYTH: 'Cocky-harm is attention-seeking'

I of the about mutual stereotypes is that self-harm is about 'attention seeking'. This is non the instance. Many people who self-damage don't talk to anyone about what they are going through for a long fourth dimension and information technology can be very difficult for people to find enough backbone to ask for help. [15]

MYTH: 'Self-harm is a goth thing'

Cocky-harm has been stereotyped to be seen as role of youth subcultures such as "goth" or "emo". While there is some enquiry suggesting a link, there is no conclusive evidence of this with little or no evidence supporting the belief that cocky-harm is function of any particular immature person subculture.

MYTH: 'Only girls self-impairment'

Information technology is oft assumed that girls are more than likely than boys to self-harm, however it isn't articulate if this is truthful. [16] Boys and girls may engage with different self-harming behaviours or accept different reasons for hurting themselves [17], only this doesn't brand it whatsoever less serious.

MYTH: 'People who cocky-harm must enjoy it'

Some people believe that people who self-harm take pleasure in the pain or risk associated in the behaviour. In that location is no show that people who self-harm feel pain differently than anyone else. The harming behaviour ofttimes causes people slap-up pain. For some, being depressed has left them numb and they want to feel anything to remind them they are alive, even if information technology hurts. Others have described this pain as penalization. [18]

MYTH: 'People who self-damage are suicidal'

Self-harm is sometimes viewed as a suicide attempt by people who don't understand it. For many people cocky-harms is well-nigh trying to cope with difficult feelings and circumstances. Some people have described it is a manner of staying alive and surviving these difficulties. However, some people who self-harm can feel suicidal and might attempt to take their own life, which is why it must always be taken seriously. [19]

People often link cocky-harm to suicide but for me information technology was something very different; information technology was my culling to suicide, my way of coping even though sometimes I wished that my world would terminate.

Getting Help

Should I tell someone?

Aye. Talking to someone is often the first pace to getting out of the cycle.

It isn't an like shooting fish in a barrel thing to practise and you might find it difficult to talk about your self-harm and the reasons behind it. This is normal - lots of young people who self-impairment find request for assistance very difficult. But it is an of import footstep towards recovery and feeling ameliorate. [xx]

Telling someone nigh your self-harm shows strength and courage; it can frequently exist a huge relief to be able to permit go of such a hush-hush, or at to the lowest degree share information technology.

Don't exist afraid to ask for assist whenever and however you lot need to. Talking about your feelings isn't a sign of weakness. It shows that y'all are taking charge of your well-beingness and doing what you need to stay healthy. It isn't ever piece of cake to express how you are feeling. If you lot can't call back of ane discussion to describe a feeling, utilize as many as you need to illustrate how you feel.

Talking can be a mode of coping with a problem you've been carrying around in your head for a while. Feeling listened to can help you feel more than supported. And it works both ways: if you open upwardly it might encourage others to do the same.

Who can I talk to?

At that place are lots of people you can talk to about what y'all are going through. It is important to tell someone you trust and feel comfy with, every bit they will be able to aid and support you lot. Young people told us that they have been able to talk to:

friends
family
someone at schoolhouse, such every bit a trusted instructor, schoolhouse nurse or pastoral intendance staff
a youth worker
their GP or healthcare professionals such as a counsellor or nurse
charities and helplines (some of which are listed beneath).

There are no rules about how you should tell someone. The well-nigh important thing is that you feel comfortable and trust the person y'all make up one's mind to tell. Prepare time aside to talk to them. Remember yous tin can set the pace and information technology is up to you how much you desire to tell them.

If you observe speaking almost it too hard, you tin tell someone in writing or in an email. You lot can even enquire a friend to speak to a trusted adult on your behalf.

Let them know you need help with how you are feeling. There is no demand to requite details about how you have harmed yourself and you don't need to talk well-nigh things you lot feel uncomfortable talking nigh. Try to focus on the thoughts and feelings behind your self-harm rather than the behaviours.

If y'all decide to talk to a GP or other health professional, yous can have a friend or family member with you to back up yous.

Sometimes after telling someone you may feel worse. That'southward normal. But remember that once yous get over this hurdle there is support and help available.

If yous're worried that when y'all tell someone they won't sympathise, or if you have experienced this, try giving them a re-create of this booklet or suggest they talk to an expert in the field to effort to sympathize more about self-harming.

Remember that health professionals, GPs and teachers are familiar with this effect and are there to help.

Don't let the fear of a bad reaction put you off seeking the help you need and deserve. As difficult as it is to tell someone, sharing volition take the pressure level off you and assist you go the right support and assistance available.

What help is available for me?

At that place are lots of back up services and treatments bachelor when you experience gear up to seek help. If you seek help from your GP, it is likely they will offer you counselling, where a professional volition heed and help you to work on solutions and strategies to cope with the problems you are dealing with.

Talking therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) focus on building coping strategies and problem-solving skills and have been found to be very effective in helping to reduce cocky-harm [21].

Other forms of counselling, like psychodynamic therapy, for instance, will assist you to place the bug that are causing y'all distress and leading you to self-harm [22]. It is important that yous talk to your GP or a trusted health professional who will assistance make up one's mind the best treatment pick for you.

There are as well a number of charities and cocky-help groups throughout the UK that tin support yous through this experience. People who accept self-harmed accept said that information technology can exist helpful to hear from other immature people who have experienced self-harm. More than information near these sources of support is available at the cease of this booklet.

I feel a lot more confident. I've learned to be more open about my feelings and been able to move on. I felt that, without them knowing, I was being held back. I've been able to come up out of myself and explicate what I do, and make sense of it, not continue having to lie and cover upward what I did. I no longer feel aback as I know people are supporting me.

Recovery

It's important to remember that you won't always feel the style you practise at present. The problems that are causing you to self-damage can, with help and back up, get more manageable over time or even go away. Things tin can and do get meliorate!

Accept time and exist patient with yourself. Recovery doesn't happen overnight - it tin can exist a slow process. Commencement to learn how to treat yourself.

Young people who take recovered from self-harm say that changes over time and changes in circumstances in life (for example moving dwelling house, changing schools, finishing exams, going to university, changing jobs or changed fiscal circumstances) helped them to recover. Once 1 or two of the main factors that were causing them to cocky-impairment (such as their family situation, or bullying at school) were removed, they felt they didn't have to use self-harm as a coping strategy.

Others explained that recovery was nigh finding new coping strategies and more helpful ways of dealing with emotions or distress. This is besides an of import factor towards recovery from self-harm. [23, 24]

It dawned on me that continually harming myself was not allowing me to abound; information technology was just proving that I was still here and I could experience. But wasn't letting me push things forwards, and unless I stopped doing that, I would be in the same situation forever.

How tin I terminate harming myself?

Asking for aid and having support is very important if you are trying to stop self-harming. Information technology is important that you do this when you feel ready to talk about it. It doesn't thing who you talk to, as long equally it'southward someone you trust and experience comfortable with. Talking to someone is what is important. You don't have to feel that you need to bargain with this on your own. For young people used to carrying burdens on their own, it can exist hard to receive support. Part of recovery is trusting people enough to let them assist y'all.

Talking to someone you trust tin help you discover why yous cocky-harm and assistance to notice new ways to cope with difficulties [25]. Finding out what makes you happy, lamentable, angry, isolated, vulnerable or strong can help y'all develop other ways of dealing with these feelings. Counselling is a good manner of exploring these thoughts and feelings and is available through your GP.

Other young people who have self-harmed accept establish 'distraction techniques' to exist a very useful strategy to reduce or stop self-harming. These techniques find a release for the emotional pressure level you feel without the demand to harm.

If you experience the demand to harm yourself, effort to give yourself a goal of getting through the next ten minutes without doing and so.

Distraction Techniques

When yous feel the urge to self-impairment, lark techniques tin be a useful style to 'ride the wave' of emotion and overcome the urge to harm yourself. [26]

Immature people shared their most helpful ones with us:

Write downwards thoughts and feelings that are lamentable you; crumple the folio up, rip it apart and throw them out as a way to permit go of that thought.
Get some play-dough: stretch information technology or squeeze it to relieve tension.
Hit a pillow or cushion to vent your anger and frustration.
Have a proficient scream into a pillow or absorber.
Have a minute and exhale or meditate.
Go for a walk to take yourself away from triggers. Beingness in a public identify gives y'all the fourth dimension and space to reduce the urge to hurt yourself.
Brand lots of dissonance, either with a musical instrument or just banging on pots and pans.
Scribble on a big piece of paper with a reddish crayon or pen.
Call a friend or family member and talk to them. This doesn't have to be virtually self-harm.
Do something creative: make a collage of colours to stand for your mood or to remind you of your favourite things.
Listen to music you similar or watch a pic you enjoy.
Go online and await at self-assistance websites.
Talk to someone about what is triggering you or seek help from a professional.

I've tried so many distraction techniques – from writing down my thoughts, hit a pillow, listening to music, writing downwards pros and cons. But the most helpful to my recovery was the five minutes rule, where if you feel like you desire to cocky-harm, yous wait for five minutes earlier yous do it, then see if y'all can go some other five minutes, and and so on till eventually the feeling that you need to is over.

Tips For Looking Later on Yourself

Keeping safe

Self-damage is not a positive way to deal with things. Nonetheless if you are self-harming it can be difficult to terminate, especially when you experience distressed or upset. If you don't feel you can finish right at present, it is of import that yous do continue yourself prophylactic.

Wounds and injuries of any type tin can be dangerous and carry the risk of infection, which can be serious, and so they need to be looked afterwards. If you have serious injury, feel unwell or experience that you are going into stupor (fast animate, racing heart, feeling faint or panicked) you should seek assistance immediately. If y'all find yourself in this situation, find a trusted adult or friend who can get you the medical attention you need. This doesn't mean you lot have to talk over your self-harm with them (although it may assistance); it is almost assuasive someone to back up you medically in a moment of crunch. [27]

Many people stop hurting themselves when the time is right for them. Anybody is different and if they feel the need to self-harm at the moment, they shouldn't feel guilty most it – it is a way of surviving, and doing it at present does NOT mean that they will need to practice information technology forever. Information technology is a huge footstep towards stopping when they begin to talk about information technology, because it means that they are starting to think most what might have its place somewhen.

Make a 'condom box'

Yous can create a safe box to help yous through times when you feel overwhelmed by emotion and have the urge to harm yourself. Fill it with things that make you happy and calm, to help you to get through this feeling. Some suggestions: activities such as crosswords, your favourite book, CD or movie. Yous could also include a list of things to practice that make you calm when you are feeling triggered.

Talk to someone

When you are feeling overwhelmed, talk to a friend, family member or trusted adult. Permit them know what you are thinking. This can help relieve the force per unit area that yous are feeling. Make a list of people you tin talk to at these times and keep it somewhere safe. Knowing who yous can talk to in times of crunch at 3am, weekends or when you are at school can make it easier to ask for assistance when you need it. Add together these to your safe box. This will remind y'all that you lot are not alone and there are people y'all can talk to when you need to.

Avoid booze and drugs

We often drink alcohol or take drugs to change our mood or to avert our feelings. Some people beverage to bargain with fright or loneliness, but similar self-harm the effect is but temporary and can end up making you feel worse. [28] Alcohol is a depressant, which means information technology slows downwardly brain activity. This changes how you think and feel, so can increase feelings of anxiety and depression. When it wears off you can cease up feeling worse considering of the furnishings it has on your brain and your body. [29]

Drinking alcohol or taking drugs can leave you feeling depressed or anxious, and can lower your inhibitions physically, which tin can lead you back to harming yourself. Visit www.drinkaware.co.uk for more information.

Do something yous bask

Remember that in that location is more than to you lot than cocky-impairment. Do things that remind you of this and make yous happy. Peradventure this is a sport, or a hobby you lot like doing such as writing.

Doing things that you relish and makes you feel happy, helps y'all expect subsequently your mental health. It helps to ameliorate your cocky-esteem and can help you remember that y'all are important and take value.[thirty]

Don't be likewise hard on yourself

Many young people who self-harm tin exist perfectionists and loftier achievers [31]. Yous might put pressure on yourself to practice things in a certain way, or experience that nothing yous exercise is good enough.

Endeavor to not be so difficult on yourself about not getting things perfect. Recovery is about knowing that it is okay for your work or performance to exist 'good plenty'.

I am worried virtually someone else

If yous are worried that someone you lot know is cocky-harming, it is important to know what to expect out for and what to do. Below is some data to assistance y'all.

Signs to Look Out For

Information technology can be hard to tell whether someone is self-harming. Here are some signs that might suggest someone could exist cocky-harming [32]:

Withdrawal or isolation from everyday life.
Signs of low such as low mood, tearfulness or a lack of motivation or interest in annihilation.
Changes in mood.
Changes in eating/sleeping habits.
Changes in activity and mood, e.thou. more aggressive than usual.
Talking about self-harming or suicide.
Abusing drugs or alcohol.
Expressing feelings of failure, uselessness or loss of hope.
Risk taking behaviour (substance misuse, unprotected sexual acts).
Signs of low self-esteem such equally blaming themselves for any problems or saying they are non good enough.
Unexplained cuts, bruises or marks.
Covering up all the time, when in hot atmospheric condition.
Existence quieter than usual.
Lacking free energy.

It is important to know that these may be a sign of other things and don't ever mean someone is self-harming. Besides, there may be no warning signs at all. Information technology is therefore important that if you suspect someone you know is self-harming, that you ask them openly and honestly.

What to do if you are worried about someone

If you are worried that someone y'all know is cocky-harming, it can be difficult to know what to practise. When y'all are aware there is an effect, it is of import that you do not await. Waiting and hoping they will come to yous for aid might lose valuable time in getting them the best support and treatment to aid them [33].

Be mindful that they might not feel ready or able to talk about their self-harm. Let them pb the word at their own pace and don't put force per unit area on them to tell you details that they aren't prepare to talk most. It takes a lot of trust and courage to open up upward most self-harm. You might be the first person they take been able to talk to about this.

Some tips for talking to someone virtually self-impairment [34]:

Set plenty of time aside to talk to them where y'all volition be complimentary from interruption. If yous don't have time at that item moment, make sure to put time later in the day when you can heed to them.
If possible, remove distractions such as computers and phones being on. This will allow you to give your full attention, letting them know you are there to listen to and back up them.
Acknowledge how difficult information technology might be to open up up about their self-harm just don't focus on or encourage them to tell you details about specific injuries or behaviours. Instead talk virtually how they are feeling and what they are going through.
Try not to react shocked or disgusted. This tin be difficult as information technology'south difficult to understand why someone would harm themselves, but negative reactions can hurt the other person and may put them off talking to you.
Know your limits: the person who has experienced cocky-harm might tell y'all to keep it a secret and not to tell anyone else. If you believe they are in immediate danger or have injuries that need medical attention, you need to take action to make certain they are safe.
Reassure them that you lot are in that location for them and that at that place are lots of sources of back up available to them. You might not understand what they are going through or why they do information technology just remind them you are there for them regardless.
Avoid giving ultimatums; for example 'terminate or else…' equally these rarely work, and may drive behaviours underground. Furthermore, this may stop them talking to y'all and you might non become the take a chance to discuss the topic again.
Offering them help in seeking professional back up and provide information on ways to do this. Yous might want to offering to go the GP with them, or help them talk to a trusted adult or family member. Attempt not to take command and allow them to make decisions.
Exist positive and allow them know that things will get meliorate and recovery is possible!

If it is a family member or close friend you are concerned virtually, they might not want to talk to you. Attempt not to accept this personally: telling someone y'all dear well-nigh self-harm tin be difficult as you are close to them and they might exist worried they are hurting yous.

Whether y'all arroyo someone you are worried about, or someone opens up to you about their self-harm, it is important that you respond in a not-judgemental, caring and respectful way. This can exist hard when yous come across that someone is in distress, and it tin can be hard to empathize why someone would injure themselves, however you should try to see the person and reasons they have harmed themselves rather than focusing on the behaviours.

Further Aid, Data and Support

If you are worried about the immediate well-existence of yourself or someone else you should call 999 or become direct to A & Eastward. For non-emergency help you should talk to your GP or contact 111 or NHS Straight on 08454647.

You can also get more data or support through the websites below:

SelfHarm.co.uk – www.selfharm.co.united kingdom

selfharmUK is a project dedicated to supporting immature people impacted by self-impairment, providing a safe space to talk, ask whatever questions and be honest about what'south going on in your life. These pages will tell you a scrap nigh usa as well equally pointing you in the right direction if you demand to contact us or observe out more about our policies and procedures.

Young Minds - www.youngminds.org.uk

YoungMinds is the UK's leading charity committed to improving the emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and immature people. Driven by their experiences we campaign, research and influence policy and practice.

Some websites that have been recommended to u.s.a. past immature people include:

www.lifesigns.org.uk
www.childline.org.uk
www.selfharm.org.uk
www.youngminds.org.united kingdom
www.b-eat.co.uk
www.samaritans.org.uk
www.harmless.org.united kingdom of great britain and northern ireland

Some telephone helplines offer specialist advice on self-harm, others operate only equally a 'friendly listening ear' – something many immature people take said they value, peculiarly when they experience they have no-i else that they can turn to. Again, information technology's important that information most reputable telephone lines is widely bachelor to young people. Helpful phone numbers include:

- ChildLine – 0800 1111

- Samaritans – 08457 90 90 ninety

- Family Lives – 0808 800 2222

- Young Minds – 0808 802 5544

- Get Connected – 0808 808 4994

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Source: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/truth-about-self-harm